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| Kids did not embrace the vegetarian alternative to Ronald McDonald. |
Always read the label. When a care label on an item of clothing reads ‘hand wash only’, you should respect this advice. After feeling a kind of rebellious pride as I chucked that favoured top in the washing machine, I’m left with a garment suitable only for a very stylish toddler.
Maps are not my friends. Maps can be wonderful things, but, like black eye shadow
and lightsabres, in the wrong hands they can lead to disaster. In my hands, for
example, a map can lead to a short cut becoming a rather long detour round some
beautifully autumnal trees, and, upon consultation with someone who knows where
they are, a headache-inducing sprint in the opposite direction.
Carrots used to be purple. Apparently, the Dutch decided that they wanted their
carrots to match their national colours, and introduced the orange variety to
the Western world.
A hole in a handbag is a hole in the head. Wishful thinking and procrastination will not fix the
hole in the lining of your handbag. Furthermore, important objects such as your
keys and phone will continue to fall through it and prompt moments of blind
panic, while relatively replaceable objects like hairclips and sticks of gum
will remain where you left them.
The definition of 'kiki', according to the Scissor Sisters. For the uninitiated, a 'kiki' is a party thrown for the
express purpose of letting off steam after a rough day. It may involve locking
doors, lowering blinds, firing up a smoke machine, putting on heels and spilling
tea. It is also important to note that once you have listened to this song once
you may need to throw a kiki to release the stress built up by having it
playing in your mind all day.
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