15 Things people who are always cold want you to know

Just remember, cold hands = warm heart and excellent drink-holding capabilities.

1.    Gloves are required all year round. There’s a six week period between July to August when you don’t have a trusty pair on hand.

2.    It takes a pep talk to get yourself out of the shower. And probably silent screaming, weeping and swearing.

3.    Snowy movies leave you cold. The Day After Tomorrow, Frozen and this LOTR clip produce the same nervous tension as a blood-soaked horror fest.

4.    You worry for movie characters who go charging off on adventures without adequate clothing. Don’t forget your sweater, Indy. Say what you will about the guy, but Bane knew what he was doing when it came to weather-appropriate wear.

5.    Gilets are pointless and must be stopped. Why would you create something so cosy and then cut off the arms? It's like buying rollerskates and throwing away the wheels.

6.    You feel slightly suspicious of people who wear t-shirts through November. This is a safe space: no one will judge you for accepting that you're a human, not a polar bear, and putting on a jacket.

7.    Shaking hands is a tense moment. An icy, deathlike grip does not make the greatest first impression.

8.    …Especially if you also experience Raynaud’s phenomenon. Apparently about 12% of men and 20% of women have this delightful condition. A drop in the temperature causes the capillaries in your fingers and toes to go into spasm, shutting off the blood supply until they go numb and pinchy, and take on a charming corpse-like colour. Wiggling helps, but also makes you look like you’re hatching evil plans, or that you're trying out for the Toros.

9.   Reusable hand warmers, hot water bottles and microwaveable slippers are top of your wishlist. Anything to break up all the cold.

10.  You have a deep and abiding hatred of air con. Air con was brought to Britain by sadists who don’t want us to enjoy the few days of the year when we can feel the ends of our toes. It’s also started more office wars than stolen packed lunches and soggy teabags in the sink.

11.  Strangers think you're overreacting. Yes, I really do need this scarf and woolly hat in September. No, I don't need your pity. Unless I can turn it into heat and use it to thaw out my ears.

12.  Hot people are the best. Forget sense of humour, witty conversation and a decent taste in films: a high body temperature is the most attractive trait. Bonus points if they also have warm clothes they’re willing to share.

13.  Sweat feels like a victory. I’ve got to a point where I’m so warm my body has to adjust itself to cope? WIN.

14.  Outside activities do not hold the same appeal. BBQ? Beach trip? Picnic? Yes, I think I have enough woolly jumpers to get through that. Better pack the tinfoil just in case.

15.  However, all this means that the moment when sun finally reaches your poor, freezing body is a total revelation. Like eating a gooey chocolate brownie, but under your skin.